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Miyu ([info]m1yu) wrote,
@ 2004-07-20 18:07:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:disgruntled
Current music:Sugar - Just For My Love

"she is really testing my patience.
two nights in a row that ive felt my patience growing thin.

im starting to believe its a lost cause.
perhaps ive changed too much."

Doesn't that bother meeee..
Hell, I don't know.
It's enough. Enough.


(Post a new comment)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 03:58 am UTC (link)
Is it enough? Since you decided to do the blocking this time, I assume you're done. If that's the case, and you're done, then so am I. I'm through with constantly wondering if you care, or don't care, or when your mind will change again.

So let me know.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 05:52 am UTC (link)
If you cared, you wouldn't be mad at me like that. If I say I don't care, it'd be a lie. But it makes me mad whenever I see you trying to push me and pissing me off. I don't know. That hurts? I was merely defending myself, to block you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 05:58 am UTC (link)
But it makes me mad whenever I see you trying to push me and pissing me off. I don't know.

oh, you mean like you inviting Richard to the server?

i got mad BECAUSE i care. i know i said i wouldnt be mad, no matter who you were bringing to the server, but thats because id never even THINK you would be stupid enough to bring someone like him. ive always thought of you as an intelligent person. you disappointed me to a point of anger. it hurt. but hey, you werent doing it to get at me, right? so youre justified. im the one who is wrong.

look, it wasnt going anywhere, anyway. its too hard to conversate anymore. you blocked me, fine. but im tired of reading youre "not in love" one week, you miss me the next, you quit another week, and then its "enough" after that.

and you didnt answer my question. is it enough?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:07 am UTC (link)
What if I say yes, and what if I say no?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:09 am UTC (link)
honestly, i dont know. but as for how i feel recently:

yes - fine. were done. i wont bother trying to think of you, or conversate with you. i wont insult you, i wont ask you for help, id much rather go back to before i met you. no friends, no enemies, nothing.

no - probably try to talk you into "yes." i dont see anything good coming from this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:13 am UTC (link)
Bleh.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:15 am UTC (link)
no, not "Bleh."
yes, or no?

im letting you make the call. think about everything thats happened, especially the few days we 'talked'.

is. it. worth. it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:20 am UTC (link)
I know that I still have feelings for you and all. But you've changed lots. And I also know that I'll get used to the way you are right now, but it'd take a little. I know it's worth it. But I'm not sure if you'd be mad at me again and try to hurt me.. and stuff. Maybe I'm too afraid? Because yeah, for the conversations which we've had recently, you were very like.. someone else. Hell. I'm not even sure if you understand what I mean, but yeah. If you don't try to push me anymore.. It'll be fine with me. Because it'd hurt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:25 am UTC (link)
no, you have feelings for who i was. because im not the same. and i dont see myself going back to "Lol. =P -hugs.- Kaaaatie.." anytime soon. if ever.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:26 am UTC (link)
-shrug-

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:28 am UTC (link)
.......

i dont even think this accomplished anything.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:36 am UTC (link)
If you think I'm stupid, what did you expect to me? I'm stupid, at last.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:38 am UTC (link)
now youre just twisting my words. i said i never thought youd ever do something so stupid.

fuck it, why the hell am i arguing? its not the same anymore, and it probably never will be.

i quit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:40 am UTC (link)
Probably you made a good decision. And was I so stupid? But that's what you usually do. If you haven't ever noticed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:42 am UTC (link)
But that's what you usually do.

what do i usually do?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:42 am UTC (link)
Figure it out. You're smarter than me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:45 am UTC (link)
......................

no. YOU said it, YOU explain it.

stop being so female, quit playing these god damn mind games, and explain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:47 am UTC (link)
Maybe.. later.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:49 am UTC (link)
katie. i dont know how much longer i can keep my patience with you.

youve twisted my words, youve constantly changed your mind, and now youre playing these games.

please dont upset me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:50 am UTC (link)
This is getting hurt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:52 am UTC (link)
it wouldnt if youd just make this shit simple by EXPLAINING.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:53 am UTC (link)
I'm not trying to upset you nor playing mind game. But maybe later I'll be able to explain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:54 am UTC (link)
why cant you explain now?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:56 am UTC (link)
'Cause I don't wanna'. It'd come in a wrong way, because I don't think I'm in a good mood. .. You perhaps know how I can be moody at times.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 06:57 am UTC (link)
im going to be blunt about this:

fuck your mood. i want to know. i want to know exactly what you meant, when you thought and typed it. i dont want it to be after youve changed your mind, again. so, tell me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:59 am UTC (link)
What the hell do you want to know? My mind? It hasn't changed. Christ. Happy?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 07:00 am UTC (link)
Probably you made a good decision. And was I so stupid? But that's what you usually do. If you haven't ever noticed.
(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


l1ar
2004-07-20 06:42 (link)
But that's what you usually do.

what do i usually do?
(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


m1yu
2004-07-20 06:42 (link)
Figure it out. You're smarter than me.

that is what i want to know.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 07:03 am UTC (link)
Twisting my words.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 07:04 am UTC (link)
finally.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 07:04 am UTC (link)
And trying to upset me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 07:05 am UTC (link)
only when ive wanted you to 'give up on me'. if thats what youre aiming for, all you had to do was ask.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 07:06 am UTC (link)
Exactly. Didn't you say you were going to quit? When are you going to stop hurting me, though?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]l1ar
2004-07-20 07:08 am UTC (link)
right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Deleted post)

[info]m1yu
2004-07-20 06:14 pm UTC (link)
http://www.deadjournal.com/users/m1yu/32052.html

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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